5. A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft
as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your
dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

4. A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a
gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This
is a very interesting book. It says that American Indians have the
longest penises and Jewish men have the biggest
diameter penises. By the way, my name is Jill. What's
yours?" "Tonto Greenburg, nice to meet you."

3. One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm
sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow a and
I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few
minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do
you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

2. Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for
a number of years when he come home one day to confess to his wife
that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to
stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife horrified
suggested that he should seek out a therapist to talk to about it,
but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks
later, Bill came home early. His wife could see at once that
something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong Bill?" she
asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh,
Bill, you didn't" "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

1. A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at
the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just
think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this same table
together. "I know", the old man said, "We were probably
sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny
snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Whereupon the two
stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know,
honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as
hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't
be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in you coffee and the
other is in your oatmeal."