Beer labels  


The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
             whispering when you are not.

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
             like an idiot.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
             boring story over and over again until your friends want
             to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
             are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck
             happened to your pants.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
             and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
             can't remember).

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
             burns on the forehead.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
             tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big
             guy named Chuck.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
             actually laughing WITH you.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
             continuum, hereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time
             may seem to disappear.

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.