A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on
the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in
the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to
the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his
wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head
violently, at which the man got up and left the room.

The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and
hissed, "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn't seen a
woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go
along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight
him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"

"Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I'm so relieved you
feel that way. He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told
me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in
the bathroom."