A woman's most embarrasing first date

      Leno show (9-7-99)

      Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
      that a woman ever had.

      The winner told about her first date experience.

      She said it was snowing and cold and the guy took her skiing.

      It was a day trip (no overnight).

      They were strangers, and truly had never met before.

      The date went OK until they were coming back that afternoon.

      They were going along in the car and she had to pee real bad,
      but it was still about an hour more back to civilization.

      He said she should try to hold it, and she did . . .for a while.

      It finally came to the point where she told him that he could either
      stop and let her pee beside the road, or in the front seat of his car.

      They stopped and she went out beside the car and pulled her pants down
      and started.

      Well, she didn't have real good balance, so she let her butt rest against
      the rear fender to steady herself.

      He was a real gentleman and looked the other way.

      When she was finished, she quickly noticed that her warm butt had stuck
      to the fender.

      Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handle nightmares immediately came
      to mind and she soon realized that she had a real problem.

      She was thinking of every way she could to get released from his fender.

      He was getting a bit concerned too, and finally cried out to her asking
      if she was OK.

      Well, with a red face, she said she was freezing her butt off!

      She finally had to ask for assistance.

      Now this isn't the worst of the story, there's more to come.

      She took off her sweater and covered herself as good as she could and
      asked him to come around to see if he could help.

      After the laughter subsided, they assessed the situation.

      They had a real problem.

      They agreed that they needed something warm to melt her butt off
      of the fender.

      Thinking about the pee that she just sprinkled on the ground made
      her think that pee is about the only thing that they had that could
      get her free.

      Well, after exploring every other possible solution, she looked
      the other way, and so did he, and proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
      her but off the fender.

      The rest of the trip home there wasn't much conversation.

      True story.