307 - 1998년11월2일(월요일) 19:37:35

The Top 10+5 Complaints ... Vampires

      The Top 15 Complaints of Modern Day Vampires


      15> Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.

      14> Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.

      13> Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.

      12> Three Words: Daylight Savings Time

      11> Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck
          yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"

      10> After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find
          clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.

       9> After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.

       8> No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.

       7> With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs
          are suddenly off-limits.

       6> No warm blood for miles around DC.

       5> Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.

       4> No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.

       3> Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized
          "hardbodies."

       2> Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.


          and the Number 1 Complaint of Modern Day Vampires...


       1> Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.