A nice collection of small jokes

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Arthur: "So, how's it going with the ladies?"
Todd: "Women to me are sex objects."
Arthur: "Really?"
Todd: "Sure. Whenever I mention sex, they object."
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A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to
empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked
the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?"

"At Sunday school," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."
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Jimmy and Susan are comparing exam grades after school.  
Susan says "I got an A on the math exam because my dad helped me. He's a
mathematician."  
Jimmy responds, "Yeah, well, my dad helped me too, and I got an F. My mom
says he's a failure."
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The NFL announced today in a press conference that one team from the league
needed to be eliminated. What officials have decided to do is combine the
Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team therefore
saving jobs.  
They will be known as the TAMPACKS.....They're only good for one period and
have no second string.
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A couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and
'love.'

The woman wrote 'When two people love each other very much, like Bob and I,
it is morally acceptable
for them to engage in sex.'  
Bob wrote 'I love sex.'
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This ad appeared in a small town newspaper:

           LOST DOG Mixed breed. Has only three legs.
           One ear missing. Tail broken. Recently castrated.
           Answers to the name "LUCKY."
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A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a
naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the
sketches he noticed that a sexy, young, blonde coed had sketched the
man with an erect penis.
The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way."
She replied, "What other way?"
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Paul Newman suffered bruised ribs after crashing his race
car into a barrier at the Daytona International Speedway

What kind of dressing did they put on him?
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A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at
his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked.
"No," he replied. A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk
out of the man's leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
the man said indignantly.
"That's not my dog," he answered.
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A man walks by an empty swimming pool and sees an injured blonde lying t
the bottom of it. "Are you okay?" the passerby asks.  
"No!" she shouted back. "I broke my arm after diving into the pool."  
"Why did you dive into an empty pool?" the passerby asks.  
"Because," the blonde replied, "I can't swim."
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