A collection of jokes  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lil' Johnny was sitting in his Catholic school classroom. The Nun
asked him, "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do
bad things?"
"Sure," Lil' Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the school
yard."

*****************************************************************

Lil' Johnny told his friend, "You know, Connie Cooper CHEATS!"
"Why do you say that?" his friend asked.
Lil' Johnny replied, "Well she said she'd show me hers if I showed
her mine - but it turns out SHE HASN'T GOT ONE!"

*****************************************************************

I was escorted to a wedding by my twenty-four-year-old
bachelor son. He appeared unaffected by the ceremony
until the bride and groom lighted a single candle with
their candles and then blew out their own. With that he
brightened and whispered, "I've never seen that done
before."

I whispered back, "You know what it means, don't you?"

His response: "No more old flames?"

*************************************************************

A guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.

The bartender asks, "Where did you get that?"

The frog says, "Would you believe it started out as a wart on
my ass!"

***************************************************************

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the
habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?" the pal asked.
"Waiting for me to get home."

****************************************************************

We've been married a little over four years, and we just celebrated
our "Wooden" Anniversary.

I asked her to give me a blow job and she
"wooden."

****************************************************************

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."

*****************************************************************

Waking up after a restless night, the wife turned to her husband
and frowned. "I can't believe it! All night long you kept cursing
me in your sleep!"

The husband replied, "Who was sleeping?"

******************************************************************

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week,
the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.

After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing,
they bury her.

After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they
dig her up again.

*******************************************************************

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist
if he sells condoms.

He replies, "Yes we do. What size would you like?"

She responds, "Oh, just mix them up, I am not going steady with anyone
right now."

*******************************************************************