A collection of jokes

A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his
office and said, "There's a gentleman in
the waiting room asking to see you. He
claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded, " O.K. Tell
him I can't see him."

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A study conducted by the American Psychiatric
Association (ASA) today showed that over 40%
of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were
themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of
some kind.

A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public
should not be concerned, as the remainder
were undergoing intensive drug-therapy.

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The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,
"I'm so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do
the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that, dear?" she
asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he
would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!"

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The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk
he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife's birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer. "She's expecting a cruise."  

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A sadist and a masochist were put into the same
jail cell and soon found out about each other.

The masochist cried, "Oh, hurt me, pinch me,
humiliate me. Please cause me pain!"

The sadist looked at him and said, "No!"  

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Q: Why is sex with your wife like a Store 24?
A: There's not much variety, but what else is open at 3:00 in the
   morning?  

Q: Did you hear about the divorced redneck?
A: He wondered if his ex-wife was still his sister.  

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The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his
room bechanged."But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best
room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind
telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."  

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