Collection of Halloween jokes  

Where do vampires live?
In the Vampire State Building.

What is a vampires favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

What's a vampire's favorite feast?
Fangsgiving Day dinner.

Why did Dracula break up with his sweetie?
She wasn't his blood type.

What kind of car does Dracula drive?
The bloodmobile.

Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn?
It was a stake sandwich.

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
He had bat breath.

What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.

Why did the skeleton cross the road??
To get to the body shop!

Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school??
Because his heart wasn't in it.

What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes?
A funny bone!

What do skeletons use when they want a chat?
A tele-bone!

What do you get if you leave a pile of bones
in the sun?
A Skele-tan.

Why didn't a skeleton go to a dance?
He had no BODY to dance with.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf
with a drip-dry suit?
A wash-and-werewolf.

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.

What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.

What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the North.

What did the wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.

What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put
his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.

What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.

Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up too early in the mourning.


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