A collection of jokes

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

A: Juan on Juan

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Four men were cast adrift in a boat after their ship
sunk: Al Gore, George Bush, Bob Dole, and Ralph
Nader.

There was only enough food for one, so they decided to
vote for the one who most deserved the food.

Al Gore won by eight votes.


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English Oxford Dictionary states:
Algorism: The skill of computation using any
system of numerals.

I suppose during the present US election, this
definition is accurate.


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A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only
to discover that the piece of land he had sold was
completely under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."



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Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 1,2 no wait. 1,3,2. Hold on -- recount. 1,2,3. No, that
    should be wrong. Hold on......


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A man goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife recently has lost her
voice. What should I do to help her get it back?"

The doctor replies, "Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"



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Jill: You'll never believe what happened last night.

Mary: Tell me!

Jill: The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my
ex-mother-in-law on the front porch. She said, "Can I stay here for a few
days?" I said, "Of course, you can," and shut the door."



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Bumper Sticker:
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole


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JAPAN SENDS HELP TO U.S.A.

In today's news, Japan sent the USA 50,000,000 cases of Viagra.


They heard that the entire country can't get an election.


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So two flies were sitting on a piece of shit when one farted; the
other says, "Please, I'm trying to eat here."


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All the women moaning about finding a husband have obviously never
had one.


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