A collection of jokes  

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  While having a little chat, Karen said, "My last boyfriend
  said he fantasized about having two girls at once."

  Lisa replied, "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?"

  Karen said simply, "I said, 'If you can't satisfy one woman,
  why would you want to piss off two?'"

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Did you hear about the divorced redneck?
He wondered if his ex-wife was still his sister.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.

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Mary: And Sandy was so excited when she got pregnant. She called
me late one night after my ex and I had already gone to bed.

Jill: What on earth did she want?

Mary: Oh, she just said, "I can't believe I have a person inside me!"
I said, "So do I. Could I call you back?"

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"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school
secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, Ma'am" said the new boy.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."

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Paul was shopping the other day and wound up face to face with
this drop dead gorgeous woman. He couldn't help but just stare at
her, so much so that his mouth dropped open and he was drooling.
The woman caught him staring and suspected he wasn't just admiring
her outfit. She said, "Are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?"

Paul replied, "No, ma'am.
Actually, to be honest, I rather enjoy them."

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My wife said " Honey , go get a dozen condoms, I'm horny ....
I said "Great Darlin, I'll be right back ..... when I got back , she
said "Thanks" and walked out the door.

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When white men discovered this country, Indians were running it.

No Taxes.

No Debt.

Women did most of the work.

Indian men hunted and fished all the time!

White men were dumb enough to think they could improve this
system.

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A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the
biggest
tool, in the whole damn school!"
She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?"
This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole."
"Well, Jimmy, your staying after school!
The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "PAYS
to
ADVERTISE."

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Do you serve women at this bar?
No, sir, you have to bring your own.

I have changed my mind.
Thank heaven! Does it work better now?

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A drunk gets on to a bus and pointing to the middle of the bus, starts
yelling from here to the right everybody is an asshole, From here to the
left, everybody is a son of a bitch!

One angry passenger stands and replies "Wait a minute! I am not an
asshole!"

The drunk shouts back, "So move to the other side then!"

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