Another collection of jokes  

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Nina: I had that gorgeous man we've all been trying to date banging
on my door last night for almost an hour and a half.

Rosey: Why didn't you open it?

Nina: I didn't want to let him out.

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A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in
his stomach.

She commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

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My wife seems to be losing her sense of
humor for no apparent reason.

Why just the other day, she got mad when
she announced that she was going to the
beauty parlor.

I asked, "Are you going in for an estimate or
are you going to get the work done?"

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Drowsing contentedly after an afternoon of making
love in bed, suddenly there's the sound of a car pulling up outside.
Dreamily, the girl whispers, "Oh, oh, quick get moving, that's my husband."

Quick as a flash, the man jumps out of bed, rushes to the
window and suddenly stops dead.
"What d'ya mean?" he bellows "I AM your husband!"

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The doctor was surprised to find old Mr. Jones sitting on the bed
holding up his middle finger and sticking out his tongue. He walked over
to the nurse who was taking his vitals.

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "but why is Mr. Jones sitting like that?"

The nurse replied, "I told him that you were going to want to examine
his sexual organs."

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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really
pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some
cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replied, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

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A young and foolish hotshot pilot wanted to sound cool and show who
was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So, this was his first
time approaching an airfield during the nighttime. Instead of making
any official landing requests to the tower, he said:
...."Guess who?"

The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied:
....."Guess where!"

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During a visit to the ladies' room, RoZee heard the woman in the
next stall suddenly ask, "So how are you?"

Startled, RoZee replied tentatively, "Fine."

The woman continued, "So what's new?"

Still confused, RoZee said, "Not much. What's new with you?"

It was then that the woman snapped, "Do you mind? I'm on the phone."

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your momma's so tall, she tripped over a lamp post!

your momma's so ugly, her reflection ducks when she looks in the
mirror!

your momma's so dumb, she bought a doughnut , took it back and said
it had a hole in it!

your momma's so dumb, she robbed a shop and asked for a receipt!

your momma's so dumb, she swapped her car for petrol money!

yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money

Your momma's so ugly she made a blind kid cry!!

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