A man gets drunk & comes home late

      Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with "the
      boys."

      I told the misses that I would be home by midnight ... promise!
      Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy,
      and at around 3 a.m. full as a boot, I went home.

      Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed
      3 times. Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I
      cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having
      the quick wittedness -- even when smashed -- to escape a possible
      conflict.

      Next morning the misses asked me what time I got in and I told
      her 12 o'clock. Whew! Got away with that one!

      She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked
      her why she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said 'dang it,'
      cuckooed another 4 times, farted, cuckooed another 3 times,
      cleared its throat, and cuckooed twice and giggled."