BIBLICAL Q & A
                             (groaners)

  Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
  A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in
     liquidation.

  Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
  A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and
     drew out a little prophet.

  Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
  A. Ruth-less.

  Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
  A. Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

  Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
  A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
  A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
  A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.
  A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle:
     "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

  Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
  A. Samson. He brought the house down.

  Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
  A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck
     out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the
     Angels were rained out.

  Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
  A. They were really put out.

  Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they
     were kicked out?
  A. They really raised Cain.

  Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer
     lived in Eden?
  A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

  Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
  A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.

  Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
  A. The thought had never entered his head before.

  Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
  A. German Shepherds.

  Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
  A. Turn right and go straight.

  Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the
     Bible?
  A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once.

  Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
  A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

  Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
  A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he
     proceeded to shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the
     neck and proceeded to smash me."

  Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
  A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

  Q. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible?
  A. It's in Kings, where it says that David sat on the Throne for
     forty years.