A mother dies of embarassment  

My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake).

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door
was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the
kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that
those were for special occasions.

Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks
are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner.

Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to
set the table.

When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst
into laughter.

Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling.

Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each
place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each
plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the
little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge.

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent
the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!"